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Chuck Norris jokes
Here is a list of the "Top Ten" facts from site when it first started (note there actually 11 facts).
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
8. Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ******* Indian.
10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Ultimate Badass: Why Chuck Norris Jokes Are Even Funnier Six Years Later
Ian Spector didn't expect to create a cottage industry by making up "facts" about Chuck Norris like the one claiming the action star has 600 miles of black belts in his home.
But when opportunity knocks, you don't respond with a roundhouse kick.
Well, Chuck Norris might. The mythical Chuck Norris who, according to the "facts" compiled by Spector, once actually made it rain cats and dogs just so he could solve a mouse problem.
History suggests that the "Chuck Norris is the ultimate badass" meme actually started in 2005 when Conan O'Brien started making "Walker: Texas Ranger" jokes whenever a joke bombed.
However, it was Spector who turned a website of fictional facts about the man, the myth, the legend into a huge Internet success story that paid off for him when he got a book deal while still majoring in cognitive neuroscience at Brown University.
"It was an accident," he admitted to AOL Weird News. "I was working on an entreprenuerial project, but when a major book publisher offers you money, you take it."
Spector has just released his fourth book on Norris, "The Last Stand of Chuck Norris: 400 All-New Facts About The Most Terrifying Man in the Universe" (Gotham Books), which includes new findings about Norris.
For instance, did you know that only God is allowed to edit Chuck Norris' Wikipedia page? Or that when Chuck Norris claps with one hand, the sound is deafening? How about this one: Chuck Norris can ignore the call of nature for 36 hours, but he can never ignore the call of duty.
Some might think the public would tire of hearing dubious details about Norris -- and Spector is one of them.
"I do see this is having a shelf life," Spector said. "But I'm really surprised at how intensely people feel for him and these jokes. But I'm not a Chuck Norris fan. I've only seen one film of his and he sued me after the first book."
There was eventually a settlement that allows the publishing of facts while letting Norris control his brand.
"I guess he didn't want a whole book of dick jokes," Spector said.