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Brace Yourselves, Programming Jokes Are Coming
Programming is a very tough job, I’ve done it and even though it’s a very challenging thing to do, you can’t just stay calm and composed every day. It is a highly stressful job, partly because of the client/boss requirements, and most of it is because of simple things we tend to forget…like a semicolon. For now, wipe away your worries and laugh merrily with this compilation of programming jokes, comics, anecdotes, and videos just for you!
Brace yourselves, programming jokes are coming. Even Eddard Stark says so!
The following are short jokes about programming, all taken from reddit (because I freaking love that place). I’ve chosen the best jokes for you, if you want to read more just follow the link
An engineer, a manager, and a programmer are riding in a car. They come to a hill and their brakes fail. After careening down the hill and finally coming to a stop they get out to decide what to do. The manager says “We need to have a meeting to form a committee to see what we should do next!” The engineer says, “Screw that! Give me a pocket knife and some duck tape and I’ll have us going in no time!” The programmer looks at them both and says, “Lets push it back to the top and see if it does it again.”
An int, a char and a string walk into a bar and order some drinks. A short while later, the int and char start hitting on the waitress who gets very uncomfortable and walks away. The string walks up to the waitress and says “You’ll have to forgive them, they’re primitive types.”
A programmer’s wife sends him to the grocery store with the instructions, “get a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.” He comes home with a dozen loaf of bread and tells her, “they had eggs.”
God summons the devil and jesus, and he challenges them to a programming contest. God gives them the spec and they begin. Jesus and the devil write their code furiously. As the contest reaches the end, the power suddenly goes out for a moment, both of their monitors go blank, and reboot when the power comes back on. God asks to see the two programs. The Devil says that he had a good program, but he lost it when the power was out. Jesus had no such problem, and won the contest, because Jesus saves.
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The man said, “Look, I’m a computer programmer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”